As Tram’s recovery went on, she would have to learn everything all over again.  Her immediate frustration was communicating.  As what seems to be typical, Tram began communicating by just blinking.  From there, she had to learn to walk, talk, eat and all of the other aspects of life, all over again.   All the while, their family helped Phong to care for baby Camille and made sure that Tram spent as much time with her as she could.  One of my favorite pictures that Phong sent to me once was with baby Camille sleeping with Tram, all curled up next to each other.

About six months later, I got the following link in my inbox from Phong one morning:

watch?v=vJx_S0AIhas   This YouTube link will take you to a video that he made of Tram’s recovery.  I was blown away.  As I was meeting more and more of these families, Tram stood out as one of my favorites.  Each day, I would ask God to grant her extra grace and favor in her healing because her family needed her.

Towards the latter part of the year of 2010, John and I had the opportunity to go to Houston, and film interviews with 5 TBI (traumatic brain injury) patients that are in various stages of recovery.  We are putting them together on a DVD that will be handed out to families who have just begun this journey of recovery.  We have found that this is most helpful to a family, whose world was just turned upside down.  The DVD is in it’s final stages of completion.

Tram was scheduled as the last one to meet with that day. I had not met them in person yet, and had purposely asked that she be the last one, as I knew it was going to be emotional for me.  I was expecting her in a wheel chair, and when I opened the door, in she walked with a cane! I could not believe my eyes!  We laughed, we cried, and then got down to the business of the interview.  After the the interviews were over, we all went over to the rehab hospital where all of these folks were treated at.  I’m not allowed to use the name of the hospital without their “express written permission” (which I think is a load of baloney because they should be recognized for their outstanding abilities in assisting in TBI recovery, but whatever) but I will say that it was the same place that Gov. Gabby Giffords was treated at, and it’s in Houston located on 1333 Moursound Street in Houston, Texas (what?!?!  I didn’t write the “name.”)  Once we got “there” we all attended a support group for TBI patient’s called The Climb.  It was wonderful to finally get all of these families together.

Today, I got an another email.  Phong has made a new video that update’s Tram’s progress.  You can watch it on YouTube at watch?v=PvgXGyPR8m0&sns=em. I think the biggest surprise for me is watching this video this morning is that Tram has run a 5K!!!!  Are you serious??!!!  I can’t run to the end of the block, but this woman, who went to the edge of death and came back, had a baby and missed out on the first three months of the baby’s care, had to spend holiday’s, birthdays and anniversary’s in the hospital, can now walk a 5K?!?!?!?!

Tram is also a nutritionist.  If you have time, take a look at her website http://www.nutritiontokitchen.com/about/.

I am so thankful for having the opportunity to know Tram and Phong.  I think that they are both Heroes.  Tram for having the courage to continue to fight to regain her life, and Phong for hanging in there and walking this journey with her.  But more than anything, I am so thankful for that one little email way back a year ago. It’s people like them that encourages me to be the best I can be on a daily basis.

Punxsutawney Phil Has Spoken!  Okay, Okay… well, his handler did.  At 7:25 a.m. this morning, amidst mostly cloudy skies, and temperatures in the low 30s, Groundhog Phil saw his shadow in the little town of Punxsutawney, Pa.

I’m not gonna lie.  I’m jealous of Phil.  He gets free room and board, he’s catered to around the clock, living a cushy life, and only has to go to work one day out of the year - and even then, he’s treated like royalty.  He is only held responsible for one of two decisions.  He doesn’t have to micromanage or delegate.  He doesn’t have to clean the kitchen, or do laundry, or cook meals.   This only leaves me with one question: Where can I put in an application for THAT job?!

]]> http://ourfreakingfamily.com/2012/02/groundhogs-day-2012/feed/ 0 http://ourfreakingfamily.com/2012/01/january-30-iths/ http://ourfreakingfamily.com/2012/01/january-30-iths/#comments Mon, 30 Jan 2012 19:52:40 +0000 Patti Kohrt http://ourfreakingfamily.com/?p=462 Continue reading →]]> A few days ago, my precious sister in law whom I love very much posted this on her face book: “It’s funny how dates don’t mean anything until something traumatic happens. Then everything seems to revolve around 1 date.  You hold your breath waiting for ever first.  Wondering how you’ll feel.”  I knew she was talking about an anniversary of a personal tragedy for her, but the more I’ve thought about that statement over the last couple of days, the more it speaks to me.

Take today for example.  January 30th.  In my lifetime, I have lived many “January 30-iths.”  I’ve spent some in Canada, several in Kansas City, and more than I care to number here in the Valley.  I spent three of them very pregnant, each time three years apart.  Unless I go back and look at my journals or calendars (yes, I still use paper calendars) I can’t tell you anything specific I have done on any “January 30th” in my life, except one.

Sunday, January 30, 2000.  The day for me began at 12:15 am.  The only problem with that was that I hadn’t ended the day before, January 29th, yet.  I had just crawled in bed at 11:45 pm and was trying to quiet my brain and emotions.  The hospital called at 12:15 am to tell me that mom has passed on and was finally at peace.  No more pain… no more machines… no more medicines…. no more procedures… no more babysitters… no more making four trips a day to the other side of town to go to the hospital.   Considering she had just spent the last four months of her life in ICU, this was a blessing.  Fifteen days earlier, she asked me to release her when, for the last time in her life, she looked at me and said “I’m tired.  I just want to go home.”  She then closed her eyes and waited for her body to run out of steam.  I released her.  After All, I was taught to never argue with her anyway.  My last act of obedience and respect towards her with her still on this planet.

The first call I made was to my step-dad.  Since we knew it was coming, we already had the funeral home on stand by and that was the second call we made.  Then I laid there, just listening to the dark for a couple of hours.  At 7:00am, came the phone calls to the rest of the family.

At 9:00 it was time to be head to Church.  Now, most people I’m guessing, on a day that started with this type of event, would blow Church off.  I guess it would even be safe to say that Church would be the last place you would want to be given the whole “I’m mad at God” issue.   But this was an important day for me.  I had made an earlier decision to accept a call on my life by God to become a minister and that morning was my Ordination.  I got to Church, but hadn’t told anyone about mom, except maybe Melissa, who had been the primary cargeiver of my children during the last four months.

There were three of us up there that morning.  Standing, while our Church prayed over us and our Pastor ordained us.  At that point, I could marry and bury people – but for me that wasn’t why I did it.  In fact, I’ve only ever performed a wedding twice, and I’ve only officiated a burial once – which was the hardest thing I think I’ve ever done.  I was ordained because I felt a life-long call on my life to stand up for the God that I believe in.  To share what I feel that He has done for me in all of my “January 30-iths”  and every other day of the year.  The blessings I have received, the people in my life that make me want to be a better person.  My kids, my husband, my family, our Church family, our Ministry families, the kids with cancer that I work with now, the families I meet and establish a relationship with – even my furthest away friend, Angela in the UK, and her precious boys!  I am truly blessed and I do not take any of it for granted.  We all suffer hurt and pain, tragedies and atrocities, but then we are also blessed with our loved ones, friends and family.

So today its been 12 years since a personal tragedy occurred for me, and every January 30th, I remember it like it was yesterday.  While mom’s absence is still very much a reality for me, something good happened that day too.  I may have lost my mother that Sunday, but I gained a new relationship with my heavenly Father.   I’m sold out for Him.  To stop and think that the Creator of everything stopped long enough to choose me?  He didn’t just KNOW me, he CALLED me.

Today I honor my mother, and my God.  Two that make me want to be better than I am.

There are days when I wonder if I can do anything right.  Some years ago, my self esteem was so low, that I would have never thought that God could – or would- use me.  Now I have the privilege to be right in the middle of miracles left and right.  So if God can use me… can he use you?  Let’s look at what we know:  

1. God Uses Real People. He did not call a giraffe to lead His people out of Egypt. He did not ask an elephant to build the Temple. He did not direct a whale to make fishers of men. He has used, and will always use, people.  And it’s not just that He uses humans – but for some reason, God chooses to use the most unlikely specimens of the human race. Specifically, God uses sinners who sin, physically weak people who are limited in their abilities and attributes, and social misfits.  It thrills God to no end in choosing and using real people. Real people who sin. People like me.

2. God Uses Sinners.   Jacob was a conniving little thief, who, at first glance, has no business being lauded in one of God’s titles ”the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob.”  He lived his life grabbing after attention and possessions. He even had the nerve to tell his father, Isaac, a bold-faced lie on the old man’s death bed! But it is interesting the lengths to which God went to use this man. Long before Jacob wrestled with the angel and was finally broken by God, God saw fit to use Jacob to father the future tribes of Israel. Most curious of all is that Jacob is the father of one of the most upright men in the Bible, Joseph.

And just so I cannot be accused that I am just bashing the men of the Bible, let’s look at the moral weakness of three of the women mentioned in the genealogy of Jesus. There was Tamar, the widow of an evil son of Judah. When Judah failed to honor custom and give her his next-youngest son as a husband, Tamar disguised herself as a whore and seduced her own father-in-law. There was Rahab, not only a pagan Canaanite, but one of Jericho’s best-known hookers.  Then there was Bathsheba, who gave into King David and we all know what happened there.

Thank God for his grace, mercy and forgiveness!  Human beings are the only stuff with which God has to work when it comes to “earthly vessels,” and whether you’ve got it together spiritually or not, He reserves the sovereign right to use you. We cannot  disqualify ourselves from any task based merely on our self-righteous evaluation of ourselves.  God is not impressed with what or who we THINK we are.  He knows what we are.  We are the children of the most awesome God – the creator of the universe.  He created us and He is perfect.  Who are we to argue with that?  In fact, Isaiah 45:9 says “But doom to you who fight your Maker— you’re a pot at odds with the potter! Does clay talk back to the potter: ’What are you doing? What clumsy fingers!”   I quit arguing with God a long time ago.  Who am I to say that I am not worthy enough to be used?

3. God Uses Wimps.   Moses stuttered. Job lay in the street, covered with boils. Zacchaeus was “vertically challenged.” Simon was called The Leper, even after his healing. These people limped along in the slow lane of ability and yet were used by God for His purpose.  Let’s not forget that Christ’s ministry had nothing to do with His physical attributes, either. We think that Jesus was some kind of a handsome, hot guy since all pictures of him portray him that way.  Have you ever seen a painting of Christ that made Him look ugly? I’m not talking about the ones where he is beaten unrecognizable… I’m talking about the portrait type pictures.  In Isaiah 53:2 look at what Isaiah says about Jesus: “He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him, nothing in his appearance that we should desire him.” That wasn’t a description of the Lord as He died - that was a description of Him as He lived and walked among men. His body had nothing to do with His ministry.

Paul provides the clearest expression of God’s heart on the issue of using people who are physically different or weak. He lists a misfit’s credentials for his ministry: “I’ve been spit on. I’ve been beaten. Maybe you’d like to hear about my time. Oh yes, I’ve been shipwrecked, stoned, and given up for dead. I’ve been hard pressed, abandoned, and almost knocked out of the ring. The Gentiles hate me and the Jews can’t stand me.” Then he presents the most distinguishing mark of God’s grace on his life.  God gave him something else- a vision with strings attached -a thorn in the flesh to keep him from becoming conceited. When Paul asked that it be removed to make his ministry easier, the Lord said to him, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness” (2 Cor. 12:9).

In 1 Corinthians 12, Paul told the Corinthian Christians to look at themselves and notice that, for the most part, God called people into their fellowship who by human standards were neither wise, strong, nor influential. He’s saying the Lord deliberately choose misfits, among others, to get His work done so that when the job is completed, the glory goes to Him and not to us.

4. God Uses Misfits.  Us “Misfits” are in good company. What we need to remember is that we are not “the message” – we are just the messenger, and we only need be willing to be used.  The next time you feel like God can’t use you, or someone is trying to condemn you because you are not the “perfect person” remember this: NOAH WAS DRUNK* ABRAHAM WAS TOO OLD* ISAAC WAS A DAYDREAMER* JACOB WAS A LIAR* LEAH WAS UGLY* JOSEPH WAS ABUSED* MOSES HAD A STUTTERING PROBLEM* GIDEON WAS AFRAID* SAMSON HAD LONG HAIR, AND WAS A WOMANIZER* DAVID HAD AN AFFAIR, AND WAS A MURDERER* ELIJAH WAS SUICIDAL* ISAIAH PREACHED NAKED* JONAH RAN FROM GOD* NAOMI WAS A WIDOW* JOB WENT BANKRUPT* PETER DENIED CHRIST* THE DISCIPLES FELL ASLEEP WHILE PRAYING* MARTHA WORRIED ABOUT EVERYTHING (THIS IS ME)* THE SAMARITAN WOMAN WAS DIVORCED MORE THAN ONCE*ZACCHEUS WAS TOO SMALL* PAUL WAS TOO RELIGIOUS* TIMOTHY HAD AN ULCER* AND LAZARUS WAS DEAD!!!! 

After all, we are in good company.

Sherra and I met our Junior year of High School, and her family  moved out of McAllen within the next year.  I hadn’t seen or talked to her in years, until Facebook came on the scene and we had a class reunion.  Even though she lives in North Texas now, she knows when she comes to the Valley, she has a “home” to come to, as weird as it may be.

Last October, we had to do one of the hardest things our friendship has ever endured.  We had to bury another friend from high school.  Just weeks before his death, we had all three been together cooking a dinner, laughing about old times, and here we were a few months later, with Sherra making the road trip back to my house, only to sit in the same room and try to make sense out of his death. Sherra, along  Tammy and Judy and my family, got me through that weekend.  I was so grateful she was here.

Today is your birthday  Sherra - and it’s a milestone birthday as well!!!!  This is my birthday message to you Sherra:  I know you have walked through some pretty rough stuff in your life (who hasn’t?) but you have come through it with integrity and grace.  You are on my website today because you are one of the people in my life that makes me want to be a better person.   It doesn’t matter how far apart or how often we do or do not talk to each other - each conversation picks up where the last one left off.  I love you for your  ability to accept people unconditionally and the ability to reason things out rationally (okay… well eventually we get to “rational.”)  Your laughter is music and your attitude about life is exceptional!  Happy Birthday Shorty! I love you!  You are my hero today– and I want to be like you when I grow up!

Lori is one of the most self-less people I have met.  She will give you the shirt off her back or find out where to get you one and then go get it.  It never mattered what crazy program or project I came up with, I would always hear: “Girl, I got your back.  I don’t know how your gonna pull that off, but I’m here with you!”  There is one project that is done annually that requires little sleep for about a week, and then 24 hours of no sleep the morning of the event and through it all, she is there, right beside me.

When the Kings came to give gifts to the Baby Jesus, they brought the best gifts they could give, even thought they were no where near His worth.  I feel the same way about Lori.  There isn’t anything I could give her that would be worthy of saying “this is how much you are worth to me.”  She is intercessor by heart, but best friend incarnate.

Lori: stop reading this and go get your kleenex now.  I know you are crying already, and you need to stuff a tissue up your nose, because I am not done yet.  You are the best thing since m&ms and Pepsi – and you know I LOVE m&ms and Pepsi! You have been there through thick and thin and have kept me on the straight and narrow.  Your accountability partnership with me keeps me grounded and I thank you for that.  No gift that I send you is even a fraction in comparison to your worth.  You are truly a proverbs 31 woman and I thank you for the example that you set for me every day.  Happy Birthday Homefri!

You are my hero – and I want to be like you when I grow up!

My Family.  Now, I know this subject is confusing to begin with and it would take a blackboard and three hours to make you understand all the events of my lifetime.  Suffice it to say that I am blessed to have my adopted family, my birth family, my young-adulthood family, my extended-family, my first-marriage family, my second-marriage family, my church family, my McHi Band Family and my Miracle Connections family (Traumatic Brain Inury and Children’s Cancer Warrior connections).  That’s a lot of Christmas presents so I’m glad we pick names.  Familiy is important to me and I pretty much just adopt anyone that even smiles my way.  I mean, after all, we ARE all part of the same family, one way or another… right?

John is the glue that holds me together.  He taught me to breathe again when I was at a point in my life where I thought I was suffocating.  He brought peace back into my life and reminded me of all the good things that were left to experience in life.  Without him, I think I would literally be dead by now.   He is a gift from God and I love him very much.

My girls, Hannah, Tori and Megan are my joy – most days anyway.  They are bright, beautiful and just all-around awesome and I am blessed to call them mine.  Megan provides my with entertainment, “words with friends” challenges, and gives me new facebook status’ constantly - she is hilarious!  Tori is the one that keeps me in line and face-slaps me with reality when needed, and Hannah, well Hannah keeps me moving.  Someone said to me when Hannah was born that she would be the one to keep me busy and she has lived up to that.

Unless they had never told me as a child that I was adopted, you would have never known it.  My family never treated me any different than that of an actual blood-related member of the family, nor was I treated any more special.  They allowed me to be me. There was never any feeling ore treatment that suggested that I wasn’t part of them.   My birth family has accepted me unconditionally - of course, they really didn’t have a choice considering we didn’t connect until about 8 years ago.  The name of this website is www.ourfreakingfamily.com because we realized that we are really just a bunch a freaks.  We have a circus background, and I was no exception except that after I was adopted at birth, my adoptive family worked more in the public relations aspect of the circus and not so much the performing side.  Some have retired, some are still making a living at it.  Either way, circus blood flows through my veins in one form or fashion, I was also a gynmast in my younger life without really knowing why and this should help some of you understand me without much of a further explanation needed.

Bottom line… I’m a freak.  But I’m okay with that.

Something that I started a while back (obviously a lllooonnnggg while back) was adding inductee’s to my own personal “Hall of Fame.”  These were blurbs about people that crossed my path and somehow, in one way or another, influenced me in some manner that made me want to be a better person. 

Since this is a new year, I don’t want to talk about me so much, but talk about those wonderful family members, friends, strangers, close-encounters-of-the-God-kind-divine-appointments and anyone else that demonstrates a quality I recognize that I am missing in myself - something that I want to take and add to my own “being” and improve upon.  A work in progress we will call “Patti Version 2.0″ 

I want to showcase those that I love, those that I admire, those that I think are silly and fun so that you can get to know them too.  I want to brag on the people that bless me and influence my life in one way or another.   If you want to hear ugly stuff, then go watch the news.  If you want to meet some interesting folks and hear about some wonderful things that are going on, then check in regularly… you might just find YOURSELF!

Love ya,
pk